I’ve spent a lifetime battling weight, losing and gaining over 100 pounds at least three times.
My journey began at just five years old when I joined TOPS, Take Off Pounds Sensibly, (the precursor to Weight Watchers) with my mother and grandmother. That was my introduction to diet mentality. I don’t blame either of them, they were just teaching me what they knew about losing weight. At nine, I was put through a glucose tolerance test because my mother had just been diagnosed with Type II Diabetes and was afraid, I too was diabetic. I wasn’t, but at the time I weighed 170 pounds, and our family doctor put me on the Atkins diet. After over 50 years – I still remember crying hysterically after sneaking a single grain of rice while helping my mom clean up after dinner. I was convinced I would gain all the weight back from that one grain of rice. I know how ridiculous that sounds now, but it was very real for that 9 year old girl. It brings a tear to my eye when I think about her in that moment. I lost 40 pounds and was celebrated by my TOPS group. For the first and last time in my life, I weighed 130 pounds.
No one told me what to do after reaching that goal, all the focus was on “the diet” and how to lose the weight. I simply returned to eating the way I had before and, unsurprisingly, gained all the weight back—and then some. Until I was over 50, I was either on a diet or off a diet, there was no in-between. Optifast (with Oprah – remember when she dragged the fat onto the stage?), Phen Phen, Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, low carb, no carb, cabbage soup to name a few of the programs/diets I participated in.
In 1997, I was diagnosed with MS. Unfortunately, I had what I now recognize as a very misinformed doctor who told me to quit my job, claim disability, eat a low-fat diet, and keep physical activity to a minimum. Apparently, he missed the memo that healthy fats can help reduce inflammation and nerve health. Good fats can help maintain the integrity of myelin and prevent damage which is a key aspect of MS. I didn’t listen – (yes I am a rebel), except to the part about keeping physical activity to a minimum. After a very sedentary life, this is probably unsurprising to anyone reading. My weight continued to fluctuate.
Just before I turned 50 weighing in at approximately 330 pounds and after losing my mom to pancreatic cancer at 70 and my dad at 74 to a combination of diabetes, lung cancer, and myasthenia gravis, I realized I needed to make a change. I wanted to age differently. I wanted to be healthier. I embarked on an extreme liquid diet: 600 calories a day, mostly chemicals. I lost over 100 pounds—and most of my hair. During this time, I also kicked a 37 years cigarette smoking habit. I might be a rebel, but man, do I have the dieting willpower down. Everyone told me I was crazy for quitting smoking while I was doing such an extreme diet, but I didn’t listen – I knew my willpower was at an all time high.
Still, that extreme diet marked a turning point. It was the first step in breaking free from the diet mentality that had dominated my life for more than 45 years. I started learning about balance and what to do post weight loss. Spoiler alert, it was still low fat and sugar free, so not perfect, but a step in the right direction in my journey. Previously sedentary, I shifted into an intense exercise routine—cycling 100 miles a week, training with a coach twice weekly, hitting the gym for strength training daily, and eating 1,500 calories a day. The food was low-fat and minimally processed.
And yet, the weight crept back. I gained about 20 pounds and couldn’t understand why. Every doctor told me to “eat less and move more.” My friends said you are working out so much, you are gaining muscle. 20 pounds of muscle, sure, I was pretty toned, but 20 pounds of muscle, I don’t think so. I blamed myself. Surely, I must be doing something wrong. But in my head, I knew it wasn’t me. I was tracking and weighing every single thing I put in my mouth. It’s pretty sad when you find yourself weighing spinach to make sure you are only getting the 85g serving size, but I had no answers.
Then came Keto. I felt so much better and alert, more energetic and way less brain fog — but I gained another 20 pounds. Although my diet was cleaner, the high fat intake didn’t work for my body. I transitioned to Paleo-Keto, cutting down on added fats. I still felt good, and the weight stopped increasing.
Next, I tried intermittent fasting, waiting until 1 or 2 p.m. to eat and drinking lots and lots of coffee. I lost 15 pounds in six weeks and felt great. I thought I had finally found what worked, until it didn’t.
I began working with my first Nutritional Therapy Practitioner (NTP) in 2017, when I started Keto and became fat-adapted and more metabolically flexible. Since then, my weight has fluctuated within the same 20-pound range. I started following Keto, Paleo, and holistic health influencers and nearly signed up for the NTP program myself in 2018 at KetoCon. I had my first demonstration of how my body needed zinc—and I was hooked. I wanted to sign up right then (and wish I had), but didn’t think I could manage it alongside a demanding full-time job.
In 2019, I started working with a registered dietitian and integrative medicine specialist. I began learning about food as medicine, though my focus remained on weight loss, which still wasn’t happening. What I did learn was that my gut was in serious trouble. And then came hormone chaos – hello menopause!
I’ve had digestion and constipation issues for most of my life (as did my Mother), starting as a child. I remember complaining about constipation from the time I was about 10 years old. I used “gentle” laxatives, fiber and various stool softeners regularly since I was a teenager. For years I just thought I had IBS. More recently I’ve done multiple stool tests, each revealing various forms of dysbiosis: yeast overgrowth, leaky gut, candida, and most recently, parasite. I would follow the recommended protocols for 6 to 12 weeks, feel better, and then find myself back at square one. I was treating symptoms, not healing the root cause.
I’ve taken multiple food sensitivity tests, with results that constantly shifted—but corn, gluten, and soy have remained consistently problematic. I also had hormone tests revealing estrogen dominance and very low cortisol. Additional functional testing showed significant vitamin and nutrient deficiencies. A full thyroid panel finally showed that, while my levels were close to “normal” lab ranges, they were far from optimal and indicative of sluggish thyroid function.
I’ve experienced sleep problems since my early 20s, finally being diagnosed with extreme sleep apnea when I was in my late 30’s. My first sleep study showed me stop breathing 39 times an hour. I’ve been using a CPAP machine for over 20 years now, but really not experience good quality, restorative sleep.
Now, circling back to MS: I’ve been on a disease-modifying medication for nearly 20 years. Has it helped? I’m not entirely sure. Part of me wants to stop; another part feels safe continuing. What I truly believe has made the most difference in my MS journey is food and movement. Since eliminating seed oils and most processed foods from my diet, I haven’t had any major exacerbations. For now, I’ll stay on the medication.
If you’re still reading, thank you.
After all of this, I’d love to tell you I have it all figured out and am losing weight. But the truth is, it will be a lifelong journey for me. What I’ve learned through the NTA is that I need to nourish my body with real, nutrient dense food. After decades of yo-yo and extreme dieting, hormone imbalance, and gut dysfunction, healing won’t happen overnight. My current stress level and years of chronic stress, lack of consistent quality sleep and dysregulated blood sugar are as important, if not more so that what I am eating and how I am moving my body.
My body will take the time it needs to reach homeostasis; whatever that timeline may be. In the meantime, I’m learning to be gentle with myself and find peace in where I am on my journey.
I say my journey because every journey is different—each of us has unique, bio-individual needs. I hope you’ll allow me the privilege and opportunity to put on my NTP detective hat and help you discover the missing pieces on your wellness journey.
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